Doctor's Orders
by ThinksInWords
Summary: Really, it is all R's fault. He was the one who left him in the sex shop with the girl in the naughty nurse outfit and no way to get home. Or: how Gabriel Enjolras met the love of his life. E/E Modern AU.


Doctor's Orders

Summary: Really, it is all R's fault. He was the one who left him in the sex shop with the girl in the naughty nurse outfit and no way to get home. Or: how Gabriel Enjolras met the love of his life. E/E Modern AU.

Disclaimer: I think I made Victor Hugo spin in his grave again. I'm not sorry. Still, he owns this – not that he would want to, I think.

AN: Everyone who encouraged me to post this: thank you! This is what happens when my bus route goes past the local sex shop while I'm listening to my Aaron Tveit playlist.

The graduation ceremony is barely over before they are on the same topic again: the post-ceremony celebration. Everyone has different plans, with family or with significant others, except for him and R – they are both single and have families who really do not give a shit. Marius is going home with Cosette – what else is new? – and Melody takes her two men with her by their ties. Honestly, at least half of the guys are so influenced by their girlfriends that there is no way they could all hang out at the café Musain and make a few stupid speeches before going home – and having to take R home because he was completely shitfaced and could barely stay standing.

Now he has custody of R again, and because his friend is actually sober still, he can drive the car that he somehow still has even though he is rarely sober enough to operate it safely. R obviously has somewhere to be, because he is rushing.

"We'll have our own celebration," R has a wicked grin on his face.

"You can forget all about whatever disgusting idea you are currently thinking of," he warns his friend. "You still owe me for most of your other plans."

There was that time when they got arrested because R simply had to strip and climb into the fountain on campus – because he was piss drunk – and he was pulled in as well. He finally got his head above water to find the campus police standing over him with a look that told of much pain in his future. He'd managed to mostly make the incident go away, but he sure as hell was not going to do that again!

"We are damn well going to celebrate graduating after four years of you working your ass off and me trying to at least pass my classes," R goes off on a tangent. "I am going to do my good deed for the year and educate you, and maybe even get you laid!"

Of course, the everlasting quest to finally get him a girlfriend or at least a one-night stand has returned. He is the only virgin in their group, and so his friends think it their duty to make him lose his virginity to whichever appropriate girl that they can find at the time. They have tried many times, and he has refused the idea every time.

"Not this again," he rolls his eyes. "Look, R, I have better things to do. I start my job next week and that will keep me busy until law school starts in the fall. I'm not interested in following you to whatever strip club or hole in the wall you can find because you've got it in your head that I need to get laid. I have a life, and sex is not a part of that."

Everyone has different priorities in life, and while his friends drive him out of his mind most of the time, he tries to respect their ridiculous choices. If they want to barely pass classes because they are either too drunk or too busy having sex to study properly, that is their business. They just should not expect him to follow their example, because he actually thinks that classes are important – he was the damn valedictorian.

"How can you discount it if you've never had it," R pushes the brake pedal too hard.

"Do you want to focus on the road instead of my sex life," he rubs his sore neck.

It is easy to be angry with R for his stupidity, even more so when he notices why his friend had pulled over and stopped – they are parked right in front of a brightly advertised sex shop. He has never been into a shop like that, but R is undoubtedly the king of sex and liquor shops – he knows him too well.

"I need to get some stuff," R announces, a happy grin on his face.

"I'll stay in the car," he is incredibly uncomfortable with the situation.

"Dream on," R drags him out of the car with a surprising amount of strength.

So, he is just going to have to deal and try not to blush too much, because it looks like R is just not going to let this go. He does not want to be even more embarrassed – so he makes R let him go and follows like a good little boy. If he just plays along a bit now, his friend is more likely to leave him alone later – he needs to do some work prep and get a head start on his law books for next year.

"Welcome to paradise," R pushes him inside the building.

There is no place to look that does not have brightly colored dildos with several different kinds of attachments and special functions, or fetish gear with straps and leather and unsurprisingly little fabric. There are vibrators in every shape and size, and there are costumes for every kink a person could imagine.

And the queen of this kingdom is a young woman in a naughty nurse outfit, who is walking right to him, making him blush while he tries to look at a neutral place and not look at how much flesh she was showing. She makes him extremely uncomfortable.

"Are you buying Marius presents again, Grant," she smiles at his friend.

"I'm introducing my friend to the wonderful world of women and sex," R practically pushes him against the young woman. "This is my friend. He's a virgin."

Damn it, R! Isn't it embarrassing enough to make him go to this kind of place? Does he really have to mention his virginity to a complete stranger? He is not even ashamed of it; it is more that he is completely done explaining himself to others.

"I have a name," he bites at R. "I'm Gabriel. And you are?"

He has to be polite, because that is just how he was raised. He has absolutely no interest in staying at this place any longer than he absolutely has to, but if he does not show at least a modicum of gentleman-like behavior to this woman, R will just make him stay longer and continue to embarrass him for years to come.

Still, his question makes her perk up, and stick her barely covered chest in his face – not really, but somehow she is much closer than she was a minute ago.

"I'm Eponine," she smiles sultrily. "Just like it says on my nametag, right here."

The nametag in question is right there on her chest, and to read it one had to get up close and personal with the naughty nurse uniform and the lace bra she was wearing underneath – he is trying not to look too closely, really. He can feel himself turning red already, and the girl – woman – seems to be delighting in making him stutter and stammer when he is the most eloquent speaker in the graduating class.

"It is nice to meet you," he rights himself and tries to keep his voice from cracking.

"Want to play doctor," she plays with his tie. "I follow the doctor's orders really well."

Only R's snickering behind him faintly registers, as he is too busy to keep his brain from shorting out. His usual approach around women is not working, as she will not let him lower his eyes and keep his distance. He is not interested in love and sex, only that excuse is not going to work with her – she will never listen.

"I'm not a doctor," his voice is still steady enough.

"And also not enough of an actor to play along," she undoes the clip from her hair and shakes it out, leaving waves of brown tempting him to touch. "I can still be your nurse if you aren't a doctor, Gabriel. Maybe you need to be tested. You look flushed."

She is touching his forehead – and yes, he is flushed because she completely discombobulated him and he has no idea what was happening. Her skin is soft and cool in comparison to his flushed skin and he almost closes his eyes because the feeling of touch is nice and he has not been touched in a long time – not by a woman and never by anyone who is interested in him. Eponine is grinning.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," she pushes him onto a nearby couch, one that is undoubtedly filthy from whatever happens in shops like this one.

The skirt of her naughty nurse uniform is hiked up enough for her to straddle him. He shoots a panicked look in R's direction, only to notice that his friend has already left the store, leaving him at an unknown store with no way to get back home – while a practical stranger climbs on top of him and plays doctor with him.

When did his life become a letter to Penthouse or Playboy?

"People could come in," he stammers, wiggling because of the tension in his body.

"You do know what kind of store this is," she presses her hips tightly against his.

Her breathing is heavy, but he knows that his is worse. She is happy with the situation, and he is just confused and maybe just a tiny bit aroused. These feelings are so new to him that he is more than a little intimidated, both by her and by these feelings.

"Don't you want to kiss me," she pouts, lower lip sticking out.

"I would like for you to get off my lap," he finds his voice and speaks up. "I am not comfortable with being accosted by a complete stranger."

To credit her properly, she does immediately climb off his lap and she plops down next to him with just her feet in his lap. Her toes just will not stay still, and he would be lying if he said that he is completely unaffected by her actions.

"I did tell you my name," she teases, her toes still wiggling in his lap.

"You are also wearing a naughty nurse costume and jumping into my lap in the middle of a – a – an adult store," his stammer on the last part ruins the entire thing.

He is still extremely uncomfortable in this place, and she is making it worse with everything that she does and says. There are just so many things surrounding him, so many colors and sounds – mostly faint vibrating of some of the toys on display. There is just no way that he is ever going to feel at ease with things like this.

"We sell all kinds of toys and attributes for sex," she puts as much emphasis as she can on the last word. "You can say the word, Doctor. It's sex. Sex. Say it."

The nickname that she has given him only kind of bothers him, so he is going to pick his battles with her and just let her call him Doctor so that he can at least try to make her stop making him face the sex he is surrounded by.

"Will you stop," he asks her, because he just wants to leave.

"Let me give you the grand tour," she climbs off the couch and drags him with her.

Of course his mention of being uncomfortable is only making things worse for him, because that is just the kind of person that she is – she is mischievous and more than a little crass. He is now being dragged around the sex shop by the naughty nurse Eponine, and she is getting ready to make him blush like he has never blushed before.

"This is our female toy wall," she is taking him to a giant part of the wall that is just covered in vibrators of every shape and size. "We actually have a couple of them on display right now, like this one here. This one actually has several different speeds."

She flicks a button on the device and the whirring and buzzing suddenly gets a lot more frantic. It is making him think of the device in its proper context and he just knows that he is getting flushed and red again. The woman using the device in his imaginings is the naughty nurse in front of him, and he feels terribly guilty about that, because she does not ask to be in a man's fantasy just by working in a shop like this one.

"There's also a special part to stimulate the clitoris," she makes him look at that.

The naughty nurse in his fantasy is moaning and getting really into things, and he is the one just watching and working on his own needs. He physically has to shake himself out of the fantasy world, because she is still standing right next to him.

"So, that's the women's wall," she takes him by the hand and drags him to the next place on her tour. "And here we have lots of lovely stimulators for men."

Once again, there is a big piece of wall covered in so many things, and he does not even know how most of them are used – he has never felt the need for toys when he could just take care of business himself. He has always seen it as simple business that he had to take care of so that he could move on with his life. It is just a stress release.

She is trying to make him see sex as something important in his life, and it's weird.

"Can you not do this," he is scratching the back of his neck and looking down.

"I could give you a great discount," she tells him. "I love my employee discount."

There it is again, the thought of her using one of the many toys that he has just seen on the big wall. It feels as if she knows what he is thinking, because she is grasping some of the stuff on display with a suggestiveness that makes him hold back a groan.

"Please," he pleads with her, his voice hoarse.

"Begging for mercy already," she teases with a kiss to his jaw. "We haven't even gotten to the costumes yet, or to our wonderful selection of couple's toys."

This is all way too much for him. He just wants to go back to his law books and his own dorm where things like this just do not happen. She is pleased with her ability to completely overwhelm him and leave him off-balance, while he does find himself attracted to her but he is annoyed by the surroundings that they find themselves in, because it is the picture of things that he does not know. He is used to knowing it all.

"You did hear R say that I am a virgin," he is frustrated with himself.

"Virginity is no excuse for ignorance," she plants another kiss on him, this time on the corner of his mouth. "If you do decide to have sex with me, there are so many things that you are going to need to know. I'm just going to teach you now."

His jaw is just on the floor at this point, because she is basically offering herself up to him, and all he has to do is say yes. This has in fact happen to him before – because his friends have tried to find hookups for him and they have offered the same thing, but this is the first time that he has actually been tempted by the offer. It has nothing to do with the silly outfit she is wearing, and everything with her vivacious personality and her refusal to let him dictate everything. He likes her spunk – as he believes it's called.

"Did you just offer to have sex with me," he is still floored.

"Yeah, 'cause I think you're pretty sexy," she drags him around the store again.

So, she is just attracted to him because of his looks. He finds it disappointing that the first girl he finds legitimately interesting is only interested in him because of his looks – because he is much more than that. It makes him feel off.

"Is that actually reason enough," he bites at her, feeling objectified.

"Get off the high horse, Doctor," she is not having any of this. "Don't tell me that you have not been eyeing my naughty outfit. You can feel objectified all you like, but you are just like me. I'm not taking any of your crap. I'm not the simpering damsel."

While she might be wrong about him only appreciating her assets and looking at her uniform, she is right to not let him dictate the conversation. She is right to tell him that there is nothing wrong with what they are feeling. She does not say it out loud, but it seems to be what she means to say. She is more than a damsel.

"You're my nurse," he decides to just go with it and kiss her.

There is the start of a laugh before she is cut off by his mouth on hers. He has not kissed anyone in a long while, but it seems he has not forgotten how to do it – their tongues are quickly tangling and before they know it, she is sitting on one of the display tables with her legs wrapped around his waist and his hands on her ass.

"Tell me the doctor's orders," she teases, planting kisses on his neck and applying just enough suction to drive him completely mad with want.

"You're not going to listen, nurse Eponine," he mentally counts the hickeys that will undoubtedly appear. "The doctor has no further orders for you."

This time she does get the chance to laugh before she kisses him. She is good at that, because he is still flushed and excited, and his pants have gotten a lot tighter since this whole thing started. She has definitely noticed that last part.

"Will you listen to the nurse's orders," she lets him place hickeys on her skin.

"Of course, my naughty nurse," he returns to her in between kisses. "I'm sure my nurse has lots of interesting things to tell me. I won't listen to everything, though."

Neither of them is willing to put up with whatever the other person wants – which is necessary when any strong personality enters into any kind of relationship with someone. Even if it is just a fling, as this appears to be.

"I like you, Doctor," she finally decides to tell him while unbuttoning his shirt. "So I'm going to take your shirt off, and I'll take you home with me after my shift."

They are still in the middle of the store, and the few people that have come in are too busy picking out products and glancing at them to figure out that Eponine is actually supposed to be working at the counter and ringing up their future purchases. She appears to be realizing that same thing, so she finishes taking off his shirt and jumps off the display table with grace. She takes his shirt with her when she goes.

"Sorry Doctor," she winks at him. "There's still work to be done and patients to save."

She tosses him a lab coat and a stethoscope from underneath the counter, apparently intent on making him the sexy doctor to her naughty nurse. He obliges her because he is suddenly in a much better mood to be humoring people after his lovely nurse has been so kind to him – shit, he is even participating in this little fantasy.

"Who will be our first patient," he stands right next to her at the counter, trying not to stammer too much as various customers start to form a line, holding items that make him blush to the roots of his hair. "Come on up, miss. What seems to be the trouble?"

Eponine seems to think that this is hilarious; she has trouble ringing up purchases because she is laughing so hard at his embarrassment that her hands cannot seem to keep still. He is too embarrassed at himself to do anything to help her, and she soon recovers well enough to continue working, even though she is still giggling.

"Complete bed rest," she tells one customer. "Doctor's orders."

It is over soon, because they managed to work through the line efficiently – he has retained at least some bag boy skills and he packs up purchases quickly and neatly and almost without blushing. Eponine appears to be enjoying the company.

"This doctor gives the same advice to both of us," he tells her, moving closer to her.

"I don't think that there will be a lot of resting," she grins as she moves in for another kiss. "That is, I am not planning on giving you a lot of rest."

His overactive mind is already thinking of the many possible scenarios, some including the toys she might have bought with her employee discount. He is not excited about these developments whatsoever – he is also turning into quite the liar because of this naughty nurse and her many charms. He will be her doctor anytime.

"I'm looking forward to it," he promises her.

"Me too," she lets him pin her to the counter. "Also, I'm off in five minutes."

When he has her just where he wants her, she manages to twist the two of them around so he is the one pinned to the counter. He does not even mind because they are close enough to each other and he gets to put his mouth on her neck again.

"I see you're working hard," a male voice sounds very close to them.

"Fuck," Eponine takes a few steps back from him and tries to straighten her clothes; even though there is no way that what they were doing could be misconstrued. "Hey boss."

The dandy standing in front of the counter, waiting for the two of them to put themselves to right, is not who he would expect as a boss of a sex shop. He is wearing a top hat and holding a cane – okay, so that might have given him away a little – but the full suit is not what someone manning the counter at a sex shop usually looks like. There is a serious double standard if this man makes Eponine wear a costume and he comes in with only his face uncovered – his hands are actually gloved.

"Francois Montparnasse," the man introduces himself.

"Gabriel Enjolras," he shakes the man's gloved hand like a civilized person. "I do wish to apologize for distracting Eponine from her duties. The blame falls on me."

He does not want to make her lose her job because they got carried away, because she does not look like the type that has money to spare. She is probably a college student like him, and he knows what needing a job to cover your expenses is like.

"Where'd you get this one," mister Montparnasse asks her.

"Grant hand delivered him," is her deadpan response. "And I'm keeping him."

That brings a short barking laugh from the gentleman, and he assumes that this means that the trouble is over for the two of them. She is only referring to him as a pet or possession for the joke's sake, he knows that much, and it made the boss laugh – also, he thinks that it is kind of funny. Sometimes he needs to quit analyzing things to death and actually laugh at a funny joke – especially when it's Eponine making the joke.

Yes, he is actually trying to impress her – like he's one of his easily distracted friends.

"Woof," he jokes, as Eponine pats his head like he is her pet.

"I'm going to leave now," Eponine announces to her boss.

She drags him along with her into the back room, where she yanks off the silly stethoscope prop and kisses him quickly. She finally gives him his shirt back as she jumps behind a screen – presumably to put some more normal clothes on.

They dress simultaneously – he can see her silhouette through the screen. It is actually more exciting than having her right there with him where he can see her plainly. She seems to know that he can see her, because she changes clothes softly and occasionally throws in a dance move for good measure. All in all, it takes him about as long to shuck the coat and put his shirt on as it takes her to change her entire outfit.

"Did you get distracted," she teases as he fixes his last button when she comes out.

"Nice moves," is all he can reply, throwing the doctor's coat over a random chair. "I'm sure your intentions were completely innocent."

There is a part of him going into law student mode, and while she might find it hot, he really does not want to think of education and classes at a time like this. He would rather be her doctor than anyone else's perfect lawyer. He would probably even be her – cringe – boyfriend if she decides that that is what she wants him to be.

He hates that word, because it is so infantile and he was done with high school years ago, thank you very much. He much prefers the word lover or the term significant other.

"I'm incredibly innocent," she winks at him, grabbing her bag on the way out.

There is no hesitation before he follows her out the back way, and he does not flinch when she presses him against the alley wall outside to kiss him again. He helps her get up to his level – he is a little taller than she is – and she just decides to wrap her legs around his waste to make things easier for the both of them. His response to that is to turn the both of them around until she is the one against the wall – it just makes holding her up for a longer time easier. She does not seem to mind it either.

"Get a room," someone calls to the both of them.

Eponine flips the person off, and he sees no problem with it until he realizes that he just might recognize the voice. He hopes that he is wrong, but he has to be sure.

"There's a couple making out in the alley," another familiar voice speaks.

"If it is who I think it is," he just knows R's voice the second he hears it, "I deserve a lifetime of praise from all of you, and they need to name their kids after me."

This is a damn set-up, and R seems to have dragged every single guy from his group of friends to see him making out with a girl. Did they have a bet? He would not be all that surprised if they did have a bet going on, because that is just who his friends are; especially R. He is going to demand his cut in the profits – he needs some extra money if he wants to take Eponine out. If she still wants to see him after this.

"Is this why you dragged us all here," Joe Leigh is simply not amused.

"Setup," Eponine simply asks, to which he nods. "Let's give them something to talk about, shall we? We'll share the profit. If I know Grant at all, he bet lots of money on this."

He laughs at that; he has to. She has enough moxie to make R give them all of the money that he won on this, and he will completely back her up on that. She is not even hesitating to kiss him again with most of his friends watching them – neither is he, because they can go screw themselves. He's not letting her go.

"Gabriel," Eponine moans as he decided to move his mouth to her collarbone again.

She is probably faking that for the audience, he decides. Still, there is enough of her body language that tells him that she does like it, and only the exaggerated moan was faked for the benefit of others. So he does it again, with even more gusto.

"The game's up, Eponine," R announces with a flourish.

"And we were having so much fun," he replies to his friend, gentling letting Eponine down until she is back on her own two feet. "Weren't we, Ponine?"

The nickname is not a conscious move; it just comes from his lips naturally, surprising both him and Eponine with how right this feels. She takes his hand in hers as they walk towards his friends, ready to face the music – they are both smiling.

"We're getting some of the profit, Grant," she warns the instigator of it all.

Their mutual friend gives a reluctant sigh, and eventually agrees.

"So, are we going, Gabe," she requests. "There is still good sex to be had."

He blushes and follows – because what else can he do? His friends are whistling and catcalling, shouting all kinds of lewd suggestions at the two of them.

"Shove off, assholes," he shouts back at them, climbing into Eponine's car.

e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

When his parents finally bother to ask how and when he did meet the young woman that he introduced to them as his future wife, he does not tell them this story.

"Grant introduced us," Ponine winks at him and gives his parents a beatific smile.

"Apparently he thought what I needed most after my college graduation was to meet the love of my life," he puts on a smile as well. "He was right."

It has been a few years since their first introduction, but not that much has changed. He is close to his law school graduation, and she does have a different job, but deep down they are still the doctor and his naughty nurse – not that his parents need to know that.

"We're still not naming our kids after him," Ponine laughs.

Some things they had better keep to themselves – like the exact details of their post-graduation celebration. He did end up both losing his virginity that night, and falling in love with this stranger that he had only known for a few hours.

"Come on, my nurse," he whispers in her ear as they leave. "The Doctor's in."

AN: Yes, this is where it ends. This is actually the second draft of this story – I extended the scenes in the shop because that's where a lot of the hilarity is found. Poor Gabriel – I really embarrassed him in this one. He'll live, though.

Anyway, let me know what you think about this one. I had a lot of fun writing it, though I occasionally had to hide from people. You think you're in a comfortable writing environment, but there are always people lurking and trying to see what you're doing.


End file.
